In search of the Eildon Tree. (femfataleatron) wrote,
In search of the Eildon Tree.

From the Dept. of Too Much Spare Time:
Eleven rules for Artists. 
A take down of Bill Gates... 
Wait, what's that? He didn't write this?
Fine, Charles J. Sykes, then.

Rule 1: Life is not fair..
By the time you've decided to become an  artist (or any other creative endeavor for that matter), you have not only heard this before, but people won't shut up about it. Don't worry, the're just jealous. (see no.2)

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. 
Artists know that the world will only value what they make long after they are dead, even if they cut their ear off.  You will never really have any self-esteem.  You will however, have a thing called “EGO”.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.
You will not make 60K a year. Ever. 

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Have you ever tried making something new, innovative, unique, and a permanent contribution to human culture, that other people don't completely hate?  This is actually impossible.  It turns out that “tough” is relatively easy.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.
The trick for artists:  Actually get a job, any job, that is at least as good as flipping burgers, and in your spare time (that includes time spent getting wasted, having sex,  playing RPG's or watching bad cinema) actually produce some stuff. Or leave your sub-burger flipping job at some point, and actually produce some stuff.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
        Your parents realized you were a lost cause pretty much from the beginning… Fault? They would have had to try, or you to have listened, to them to be be able to blame anyone for anything. Technically everything you do is a mess. So, work this angle.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now...
Yes, in fact they were just as boring as they are now. You are boring as well, however' you have a thing called “EGO”, this makes you interesting to yourself, and other weak, impressionable people. You're an artist, so that's all you really need.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. 
Actually, everyone at your school knew that you were a loser. So the 'doing away with' thing did not apply to you.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Not only will you work for a nerd,  you will work for someone who is younger than you, and was promoted to assistant manager (of nights) ahead of you, despite your seven years seniority.
If you are lucky, or play role-playing games, (see no.5 ) you have some friends who are nerds,  but don't try to tell them about art, or art making, because their eyes will glaze over just like everyone else.

I left off rule 9 & 10 because they are dumb. 

There is a rule 12 tho. As an artist you can be at the absolute top of your field, a total expert, and people will still feel that their opinion about your work product is the only valuable one.  All that is required to become an expert on art is to have the misfortune to look at some.  Other creative fields suffer from the same problem,  like particle physics,  and automotive mechanics...  Art, however, seems to bring out the worst of this.


  • To record

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